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Obviously, one of the things that binds us all together here in this community is a sense of alienation from prevailing judgmental crunchy trends, or at least our perception of the way we are or would be judged by the self-righteous, holier-than-thou mothers of the world. So I'm curious as to what each of our perceptions of the SUPPOSEDLY "perfect" moms out there think is the "right" way to raise a child.

Honestly, I know this may seem like an exaggeration, but it's not really as much of an exaggerated idea as it might seem. From all the bits of criticism I've picked up from reading, from seeing people get criticized on the net, or hearing people's stories of what they've been criticized for by other mothers, I get the impression that the overzealous parental types would have us all walking around with our babies duct-taped to our breasts (or to our surrogate rubber breasts, in the case of fathers, a la Meet the Fockers) every waking minute and the only recreation and socialization we would be allowed would be with our child or children.

Okay...now your turn. Share with us the picture you have in your head of what you're SUPPOSED to be doing if you were seriously angling to be a model parent, no matter how outrageous. Share with us the image of perfect parenting that haunts you the most because actually executing it AND remaining a sane, functioning human being are mutually exclusive of each other!

Comments

( 12 comments — Leave a comment )
emiaj79
Sep. 1st, 2007 05:20 pm (UTC)
I'm made to feel like my kids are going to grow up feeling neglected because I didn't "wear" them or play with them 24/7.

But I like to put the babies in the swings, send my 5 yr old to watch a movie and sit on the couch myself, and read....
I must be a really bad mom.

Funny though, Emma is a perfectly well adjusted kindergartner, with normal 5 year old kid problems. Amazing since she spent 5 years in day-care, got formula, slept alone, and got vaccinated.
But formula kills babies!!!! :P
I also feel like because I cloth diaper I should breastfeed, co-sleep, baby-wear etc... I just think the diapers are cute, and they are cheaper, which is important when you have 2 babies. Surprisingly, I didn't get harassed cause I asked for some formula coupons that someone posted as giving away, in the cloth diaper comm. I was all ready for it too. :)
randmberta
Sep. 1st, 2007 05:43 pm (UTC)
Mine is with working.

EVERY shift I work at work, at least one person asks me "Who is watching the baby?"...with a very concerned look. I feel as though the "perfect" moms never have to work, and surely their husbands work 9-5 desk jobs so the baby can be in bed by 7.

My husband and I both work in a restaurant. We have to work because otherwise we can't pay bills. I only leave Story with my mom or my aunt who I trust completely. We don't get home until 11 or 12, and if my baby went to bed at 7 I'd not only not get to see her, I'd also not get any sleep. She goes to bed at 1am and sleeps in until noon (with feeding in between). It works for us, if you want her on YOUR schedule, you come over and get up with her at 6am.

Stop asking me where my baby is. I've started replying "oh, we just left her at home with the dog", or "she's in the car, of course" Some people laugh...others, not so much.
admiringbog
Sep. 2nd, 2007 02:25 am (UTC)
Now that I am back to work, we can no longer let Michaela wake herself up and I have to go get her by 6:30. I feel bad, but I a little song to her to make it better.
masquerader317
Jan. 3rd, 2008 06:41 pm (UTC)
My husband doesn't get home until 10pm. so that's when we have dinner. He's a grad student and a tutor, and Aria was going to bed around that time too until just recently when she started falling asleep earlier on her own. Honestly? She's my first and I am with you, some of these other mom's who seem to know what's best for everyone else's family need to figure out where the mute button is for a while.
admiringbog
Sep. 1st, 2007 07:55 pm (UTC)
I am a bad mom because I had a C-Section and I liked it and will have one again. I was on the pregnancy comm (I'd don't know why they make me mad) and this woman posted this "PSA" about birth and how evil c-sections are and how we need to question doctors. Funny these are the same people that DON'T question the doctor when they say no solids until 4-6 months but we don't trust them before the child is born. Whatever. I posted a comment and got a bit bitchy and I am formulating a new comment. I don't care if you want a natural birth, more power do you. But quit with this natural birth is the ONLY way and you need to do EVERYTHING you can to have one.
(Deleted comment)
admiringbog
Sep. 1st, 2007 08:17 pm (UTC)
The little "Why I am a bad Mom" thing I posted at the start of this group would cause such drama and I so want to post it there! I really need to take them off my friends list.
(Deleted comment)
littlebiskit
Sep. 1st, 2007 09:11 pm (UTC)
Question re: tongue tied
My husband is tongue tied as well. How obvious was it to you that your son is tongue tied? I ask because sometimes I think my daughter is, and other times I think she's fine.

(I think it's great that you've decided it's not necessary to have it clipped. I told my husband that, since I have no experience with it, that to clip or not to clip would be his decision if she's tongue tied. Same as the circumcision decision if we'd have had a boy.)
(Deleted comment)
littlebiskit
Sep. 2nd, 2007 03:43 pm (UTC)
Re: Question re: tongue tied
Okay that explains a lot. Thank you!

(My husband had a neighbor who was a speech pathologist who helped him with his speech, which is now normal, but to this day, he can't really stick his tongue out or anything, and it is painful for him sometimes. He would have been for clipping hers, had she been tongue tied.)
admiringbog
Sep. 1st, 2007 10:17 pm (UTC)
See you are making a true choice that is right for you. I get so mad when it is all or nothing. You HAVE to do what the doctor says or you CAN"T do what the doctor says because the doctor is evil. Why can't we all take in the information and and go with our mommy gut? I am really bitter right now
(Deleted comment)
admiringbog
Sep. 1st, 2007 11:00 pm (UTC)
Man that is annoying! It just shows how bandwagon they are and how (even though they swear other wise) they really do not think on their own.
masquerader317
Jan. 3rd, 2008 06:42 pm (UTC)
LOL here here! ::raises a glass:: hell yeah.
masquerader317
Jan. 3rd, 2008 06:36 pm (UTC)
I left that community because I tried the whole, "lets be nice to each other because we're all doing the best we can" comment when one mother was getting bashed for supplementing. When I got nasty comments saying I should be more careful how I word things I decided it just wasn't the community for me. One mother actually posted that she'd rather giver her child poison than formula. Its like... um. really?

btw. I had an epidural after about 18 hours of labor and its the only reason I would even consider another child!
( 12 comments — Leave a comment )

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