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Sep. 2nd, 2007

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/20326327/

So what do you all think? My point is why would you think that a DVD could "make your child smarter?" Take them for what they are- a few minutes of happy entertained baby whild you make dinner. If you wnat to use them at all.
Obviously, one of the things that binds us all together here in this community is a sense of alienation from prevailing judgmental crunchy trends, or at least our perception of the way we are or would be judged by the self-righteous, holier-than-thou mothers of the world. So I'm curious as to what each of our perceptions of the SUPPOSEDLY "perfect" moms out there think is the "right" way to raise a child.

Honestly, I know this may seem like an exaggeration, but it's not really as much of an exaggerated idea as it might seem. From all the bits of criticism I've picked up from reading, from seeing people get criticized on the net, or hearing people's stories of what they've been criticized for by other mothers, I get the impression that the overzealous parental types would have us all walking around with our babies duct-taped to our breasts (or to our surrogate rubber breasts, in the case of fathers, a la Meet the Fockers) every waking minute and the only recreation and socialization we would be allowed would be with our child or children.

Okay...now your turn. Share with us the picture you have in your head of what you're SUPPOSED to be doing if you were seriously angling to be a model parent, no matter how outrageous. Share with us the image of perfect parenting that haunts you the most because actually executing it AND remaining a sane, functioning human being are mutually exclusive of each other!

OK...

This is how out of it I am...all day today I thought it was Thursday, hence the Trash Talk Thursday post...

Heh, I started reading all the Fess up Friday posts and was thinking...wow, these guys are ahead of schedule...

Duh..I'm just behind.

Fess Up Friday

Miles hasn't had a bath in 5 days.

Fess up Friday

We, like admiringbog tease our little girl, tell her things like we're going to give her away to the next person who says she's cute. That we're not going to feed her anymore. That we've decided to bring her back to the hospital. That we're going to let her sleep outside.

Even worse? We did that with our cats before Lily was ever born.

Yes, we treat our baby the same way we treat our cats.

Does that make us bad baby-parents, or excellent cat-parents? *grin*

Fess Up Friday

 

Sometimes when my daughter cries, I laugh at her. Not when she is really in pain or something, but when she gets hungry or is fighting sleep she gets SOOOO cute. She makes the cutest face in the whole world and makes these little yelps that are just so funny. When she goes from 0 to hungry in  like 5 seconds and starts yelling, while I am making the bottle I tell her that we are all out of formula and that today is the day that we are no longer going to feed her. I know I am so bad. J  Oh and while I was trying to get things done today for her baptism party that is on Sunday, I put her in her swing and turned on the TV. That is why I am a bad parent… this week.  

Aug. 31st, 2007

Trash Talk Thursday: Is your mother’s constant “advice” driving you crazy. Did some stranger in the mall do something creepy? Here is your chance to vent about what is bothering you about parenting.

My step-father, great guy, couldn't ask for a better step father. But when ever we visit he will say, Are they potty trained yet? Or make comments about how we need to get on the potty. No more diapers or some other related comments and it drives me NUTS.

Hey, dude, knock yourself out. See how it works out for you.

Now I'm not one of those parents that was dead set on when they need to be potty trained. My friends are like "Gawd, mine was trained at 16 months, blah blah blah."

Well I just might change diapers until they are four just in spite of you.

Heh, leave me alone. We are trying!

Bad Mama....

I know this theme day was supposed to be more tongue-in-cheek, but I needed a place to vent and confess.

This got really long, and a lot of it is OT, sorry...Collapse )

Introduction!

Name: Amanda

Relationship status: Married three years September 17th, together for 7 years.

Children: Miles Alexander, born June 9, almost 3 months!

Description of children: Miles is an imitator. He has been "waving" and today has started making a kissy face. He has "happy time" a few times throughout the day, where he is all smiles and very social. I was worried about his milestones since it seemed to take an eternity before he started to smile, but now he's so active/able to keep his head up all the time as long as he's not sleepy/smiley/grasping I've been able to relax.
Yes, he's a redhead! Just like his daddy, and two grandpas, and his great grandpa... I hope his eyes stay blue.

Parenting style: I am big on the theory of holistic living; however, in practice we're a take it as it comes sort of family. I thought the whole idea of natural birth/attatchment parenting seemed like a good idea while I was pregnant but after a few days of intense back labor....well...
Miles has his own style of "attatchment" and is just starting to let mommy take care of things in the next room for a few minutes before he starts crying. I usually don't let him cry [aka "cry it out" or CIO] because, quite frankly, I can't handle it. I go for the quick fix, too, and stick a boob in his mouth while he's screaming. I don't know what I'll do once we quit breastfeeding!
We didn't plan on it, but Miles co-sleeps the majority of the time. He hates his basinette and I usually need to "trick" him into sleeping in it. Last night was an hour's worth of lullabyes.
When I'm not holding Miles, he's in his carseat carrier, stroller, swing, bouncer, pack and play, or baby bjorn. I need to get a sling since he likes to be carried and the bjorn is a fuss for quick pickups or short excursions. I'd probably have an exersaucer but I attended a baby safety class that said they're no good for baby. I'd have a play mat/gym if I had more money. Still not sure about the bumbo. I feel like I should know, since I'm a physical therapist assistant and know quite a bit about seating props, but mostly for adults.
I breastfeed, primarily because we don't have the money to buy formula.
My favorite brand of diapers are Pampers Swaddlers [aka "the good diapers"] and my least favorite are Luvs. We threw a diaper kegger before Miles was born and he's pretty well set up on diapers!
Days are baby led, for the most part. I'm not working yet, but hope to start "casual" work soon, once I don't have to take care of my mom as well as my baby.


Worries: My biggest worry now is my inability to be my parents caretaker. My mom broke her kneecap two weeks ago now and I've been over at her house almost every single day, all day long. It's driving me insane. I thought it was bad enough being sleep deprived and taking care of baby, but now I'm sleep deprived, taking care of baby, and taking care of one very bitchy and demanding mother.

I hope this community remains unjudgemental and open/honest with eachother and ourselves. There's too much mamadrama on LJ.

Yes, my baby has gingervitis!Collapse )

intro

Name:  Mary
Relationship status: Married.  Will be 7 years in October
Children: Anna (1/31/02)  Ray and Alex - identical twins born 14 weeks early, passed away at ages 4 days and 9 days (2/10/05)  Vinnie (6/14/07)
Description of children:  Anna has just started Kindergarten and knows EVERYTHING.  I think her being at school for 6 hours a day is going to do WONDERS for our relationship.  :)  Vinnie is kicking my ass.  He wants to be held all the time...doesn't sleep long at night...prefers my boob to a pacifier...can't tolerate milk protein...has reflux...the challenges just keep on comin'.  He's 11 weeks old today.   
Parenting style:  For Vinnie:  I'm nursing most of the time.  He averages about 4-6 oz of soy formula a day.  Sometimes I don't think he's full and I "top him off."  Sometimes I want a break and hand him off to daddy with a bottle.  Vinnie sleeps in my room and will until he sleeps through the night.  Then I'll move him into the room he'll share with his big sister.  I'm trying like hell to get him to sleep on his own, but I bring him into bed to nurse in the middle of the night and he HATES going back into his bassinette after being in bed with me.  Most nights I'm too tired to fight it, so he sleeps in bed with me.  For Anna:  Anna hated nursing so I pumped till my milk ran out.  She was 100% formula from 11 weeks.  She slept in her own crib from day one.  Compared to my mommy friends, I'm a strict disciplinarian (of my 5yo).  I tell her she's being obnoxious, I use time outs and send her to her room, I say "no."  I insist on her saying "please" and "thank you" and "excuse me."  For both:  Disposable diapers.  I'm a teacher so Anna was in licensed home daycare at age 11weeks.  Vinnie will start when he's 13 weeks.  I've often said that daycare was one of the best things to happen to Anna.  She got so much more stimulation from daycare than I ever could have hoped to offer.  
Worries: Even though I know it will all be okay, I'm worried about sending Vinnie to daycare.  As much as I love my professional life, it's gonna suck leaving my baby.  I'm also worried about going back to work because he doesn't sleep well.  Last night he ate 5 times between 1am and 6am.  When I work, I get up at 5am.  How the hell am I going to teach 7th graders on 3 hours of sleep?  ALSO worried (have lots of 'em) because I'm awaiting test results to see if I have celiac disease.  If I do, I'll have to cut wheat out of my diet.  I've already cut dairy...I'm not sure I can cut both dairy AND wheat.  If it comes to that, I'm pretty sure I'll ditch the nursing...and that makes me sad. 
Thing you would like to see in the community: I'm just looking forward to connecting with parents who don't judge.  I could care less if you breastfeed, formula feed, cloth diaper, EC, babywear, cry-it-out, or whatever.  You do what works for you, I'll do what works for me, and I would never dream of telling you you're doing it wrong.  When it comes to parenting, the only thing that matters is that you love your children.  Period.